Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
