HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
