I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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