Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Fuck appropriateness.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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