i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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