i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
