shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I am available for nakedness
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
