they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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