Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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