Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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