You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
