ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
