Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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