Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
