Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
