The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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