when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
