would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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