Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
