this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
