i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He felt like a one man threesome
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
