Farmville is her only friend.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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