I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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