Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize