He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
