What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
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His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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