also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
