You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
