getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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