Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
