he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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