DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
