I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You don't make any sense
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