If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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