nut hugger
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
