I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
