Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
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You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
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I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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