Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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