So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
