So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
