she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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