$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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