Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
