No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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