so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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