its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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