Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
babies were throwing up all over the place
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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