Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
