What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
