i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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