You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i need some magic done to my vagina
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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