Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My sheets look like a crime scene.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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