I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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