He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
