My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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