question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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