i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize