My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
