i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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