Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
