i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize