No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I don't deserve a penis
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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