So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
