a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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