Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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