goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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