their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
