Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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