You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
zippers are such a cool invention
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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